I haven't felt sick to my stomach in months but tonight I felt it. You feel it there and you feel it in your heart too. I don't really know how else to explain it. My roomates all came in to my room and started giving updates about their status with the various girls they are chasing. On more than one occasion they made a comment about how I haven't pursued any girls in a couple months. As they went on and on about the games these girls are playing and the arm rubbing and the DTRs all I could think about was how I was more successful with guys than they were with girls. Still, I'm the unlucky, loveless, furthest from getting married one. Now I just feel sick. I think I need to move to a new place where roomates aren't as social because I don't want these conversations to come up anymore.
On Sunday I met this amazing girl in my ward. Not only is she hot, but she is extremley intelligent. If we got married I could be a stay-at-home dad. After church my friend told me that she was really into me. I honestly had no idea. I saw her from a distance on campus a couple days ago and noticed that she slowed down her stride hoping I would catch up to her. That freaked me out. What would I even say when I got to her? Flirting with girls scares me because it's all acting and it's really not fun anymore. She is perfect though! I wish I was straight. Argh.