Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Lust and Love

How come so many gay guys are sluts? They say all the right things to get in your pants. Luckily, I trust my intuition. I pick up on red flags. Did you just say 'make out buddies'? That's code for 'fuck buddies'. I also have good friends who I can over analyze every text with. Oh my gosh, sluts are so good at saying the right things. They're even good about saying the right things about saying the right things. I need a boy. Whores need not apply.

Looking for someone who:
1. Makes me a better person
2. Is selfless
3. Is smoking hot
4. Wants kids
5. Is planning on doing something with their life (Law school maybe? Medical school? OK, neither of those are necessary, but they need to be ambitious and talented. Kids are even more expensive when you can't make them yourself!)
6. Doesn't hate the Church
7. I don't meet on the internet
8. Isn't hyper-glittery
9. Does random things to make me feel special and remind me that he loves me
10. I can spend the rest of my life with

That said, that is the kind of guy I need to be myself. I know that he'll have his flaws, because we all do, but we'd work through it. Love isn't something you fall into, it's something you create.


Romulus said...

Oops. I meet all of the criteria except number 7 :P

Alan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alan said...

As you said. Do your best to be that person your list describes. Remember the scripture that says truth attracts truth, "light cleaveth unto light" and so forth? Well, it works for relationships too. Sounds like you know what to do. Good luck.

Ezra said...

Haha, I meet all the criteria except #3 and #7...

MikeInWeHo said...

Why #7? Aren't you limiting your options unnecessarily? Plenty of happy, committed couples have met online.