A post script about my mall story: Whenever I'm nervous and about to do something, like before a game or public speaking or anything, I always say a silent prayer. Thirty seconds before walking into Buckle for the second time hoping to see that guy again, in my mind, the phrase "Dear Heavenly Father..." formed automatically as my heartbeat rose. Then I realized why exactly I was nervous and didn't proceed any further. Has anyone ever done anything like that before?
Anyways, I saw Carly, a girl I graduated with, at work. She was on the basketball team which was a synonym for lesbian at our school. I remember going to a Shakespeare play for an English class field trip one night and Carly had another girl with her. This girl was attractive and so, going along with the "play straight" schtick I've been doing for all these years, I went to go talk to her. Right before I did though, I heard another kid whisper, "That's her girlfriend." I took a step back and decided to leave them alone.
Fast forward four years and I wondered where Carly was about being open about it all. Even though everyone knew it in high school, she denied it. She asked me what I was up to and I gave the usual answer: just back from the mish, working until I go back to school. I asked her and she told me that she just moved into an apartment with her, get this, boyfriend. Who's kidding who I thought.
You're a lesbo, I'm a fag, there is no need to play this game. I find the idea of two women rubbing up against each other and making out (unless they are international pop stars and its just for album promotion) atrocious, as I'm sure she finds the idea of two guys gross, but we can respect each other. Still, if I were in her situation, I would lie too.